Discover ArtQ Text Cards

The following is an exert from The Magic of What IF? book

Have you ever been so inspired, motivated to go somewhere, do something that made little sense, maybe was completely indulgent and you knew you just had to do it anyway? Then, sometime down the road of life, you became aware that inspiration was a gift and because you went to that place or did that thing, your life has been enhanced in a way that is surprising? 

Divine Benevolence is active in my life. The Divine Hands shows up in a multitude of ways in each and every day. Some days I'm more aware than others. Sometimes it takes hindsight to be aware of the orchestration of the events and the perfect support of them.  

This book is about my healing journey after a loss and tragedy.  I used creativity as a way to reclaim, recreate and reinvent my life. It was my response to an invitation I didn’t even know I had asked for. I have learned a lot about grief, and honoring myself through it.

I had a great loss and tragedy on the afternoon of July 27, 2014. My partner, lover and friend slipped and fell 26 feet to his death in front of my eyes. It was quick and instantaneous.  

I cannot tell you all that occurred in the few moments, the seconds after that. So much that it is hard to know all of it to express to you. There was the seeing him slip, having him disappear from view to seeing him at the bottom of the rock wall. It was having no idea how to reach him. It was sorta knowing that he had already popped out of his body and was gone and not believing that he could be dead in an instance. It was sorta being unaware of the sounds but knowing some were made because people were gathering around. It was the new sights in front of my eyes, a hummingbird tattoo, the kindness of strangers. It was the wondering around and not knowing how or what to do. It was having bottles of water appear in my hands from I didn't know where. There was confusion, there was support, there were the shouting of instructions that I thought would help. There was the reluctance to believe what I was seeing. There was still knowing that somehow it was a divine appointment. There was the immediate aftermath, the officials, the emergency vehicles, the investigation, the coroner making the official death announcement, the caterpillar that made his trek to me several times, it was the interaction with the others at the park – forgiveness all around. There was the call to his son and having to hand off the phone for the conversation to finish. It was finding out about others because my mind needed something else to think about. It was hearing these professionals and what options I had and their recommendations. It was shock.

Then there was the slow process of coming out of my shock, reclaiming my life,  celebrating his life, handling other people expectations and discerning what was mine and what was not. There was the cleaning and clearing of stuff. And there was the healing for me. Often is showed up in creative pursuits of artwork and writing. I became more active with dancing again. Opportunities showed up and I took advantage of them. I did more artwork. I wrote more. I relied on my spiritual practices and with practicality they got me through. I found out who could give me the support I required and those who had some great intentions but were simply not able. I found my strong inner voice that is connected in a stronger way. I have embodied more compassion, gained more wisdom and am grateful for the benevolent Universe in which I take part. I am here as a living example that we can survive and come to thrive.

I used creativity as a way to reclaim and recreate my life. The Divine Hand had done its orchestration about a month before Dominic's fall. I had gone to a multi-media collage class. I was reawakened to my love of taking elements from one thing and putting them with others and having a new creation. One of the techniques I learned was how to create taking spray paint and tracing paper to give different patterns. I spent a lot of time playing with this creative form and completely pleasing myself with it. I had learned earlier at another class about using wall board as a canvas. Soon, I was combining these techniques and creating art that was very personal and satisfying to me. I wrote too. One day these questions flowed from me. These are the “What If” questions that are in this book. Another whisper of inspiration came that suggested that I combine the art work with the “What if” questions. This adult inspirational picture book is one result of my healing journey using creativity to reclaim, recreate and reinvent my life.  I humbly present it to you.  

I am inspired to offer an opportunity for you to move from “awfulizing” to possibilities. Dominic's death was sudden and his impact was far greater than he knew while in his life. It served as a wake-up call to many to realize what is important in their lives. For me it has been a path of living my spiritual practices, making them real and grounded in my life and gives me the profound insight of how creativity is our gift back. Our gift back to ourselves, our gift to each other and our contribution to the Benevolent Universe.

Life is always a choice, we live in a free-will universe. What will you choose?